when most nights i am so sick of daily struggle no money toil and anguish
and endure the battle long and hard with wakedness
untill i am so finally tired enough to sleep..

i drift into mysterious dark other world dimension
to enjoy sunset morning daylight bursting thro8gh curtains enduced daft headed nonsense dreamsms..


in that funtastic dream world



i sometimes try so hard to reach out..


but i never see GOD..

i'm friendly enough..

but even though he omnipresent..

..he dont even ever turn up for dream pool side barbie

with bottle of cheap wine and box of party poppers..


why !!!???


..and funnily enough ..


when i wake 4 or 5 hours later to meet the new mid-day

groggy headed and furry mouthed..



I never see him then !!!!



TONIGHT .. i am waiting for a phone call


an elderly relative might survive another night in hospital .. or not..

waiting.............


i begining to think god do exist ..

he must be the mean spirited mudcat mod

who deletes anything i write here that might upset his most intolerant fan boy worship club suck arses..