Yes - changing the words doesn't change the attitudes. And while attitudes of exclusion remain, any words are going to take on negative meanings. Nobody could have thought of a more positive and supportive term than Cretin, "Christian" - but people have managed to turn it into an insult.

But I think it's important to accept the judgement of people directly affected, and there are plenty of people with learning difficulties who are very articulate and determined about this, and that's where I takle my lead. I'm not going to use a word that offends the person it's used about. And I won't use it about people who are less articulate either, like my daughter.

I like the sound of Don's aunt, and the bridge metaphor. Here's a link to Inclusion Press, a site with some good stuff about people who have been doing a lot to reshape attitudes and the way services are organised.

Barn dances can be a great thing in this sort of context -I remember at a folk festival barn dance seeing a couple of young people with Down Syndrome having a great time, and opening a lot of minds, as the structure of the dance meant they kept on changing partners, which meant pretty well everybody got to dance with them.