Go Stay Fetch
Les Barker

I'd always wanted a dog and so I took in a stray
He didn't want to leave me and so I called him Stay.
I knew it was a mistake the first time I told Stay to go.
Go Stay and I pointed but did Stay go... No.

Go Stay I said and he started. He was going and then he was not.
He looked at me sad and confused. Two big eyes said "Wot?"
I threw him a stick. I said fetch Stay. He started and stopped all in one.
I never got round to come here Stay. Stay couldn't come he'd not gone.

He wanted to please but he couldn't. I spoke but he just didn't know.
So I got him a spaniel for company. I shouldn't have called it Go.
I said stay Go. Go would stay a second then both Stay and Go were away.
I'd have to shout come here Stay and Go. They were coming and going all day.

I said stay Go and Stay. I tried go Stay and Go nothing seemed to get through.
Its not they were both saying no; they were both saying does he mean you?
Its all very well in the park but what if we stood at the curb.
Two lost souls in the dark. Which bloody one is the verb.

I've got them a new friend now. I found him a poor starving wretch.
I hope they'll be very happy together. Go and Stay, come and meet Fetch.