Where the hell did all these self-appointed ruban bleu gourmet chefs come from here on Mudcat? I mean, here, in a country where most people believe that potatoes are to be found by locating a puddle of gravy and probing around in it? Or where a huge percentage of the population wouldn't know how to manufacture an angel food cake without reaching for the box of Duncan Hines cake mix?

So you get up in the morning and are in a bit of a hurry, but you feel like something a little more upscale than a bowl of Froot Loops or generic granola for breakfast. You decide pancakes might make a nice change. Besides, you have a hankering for a large dollop of maple syrup and pancakes provide an excuse. Then you notice that you don't have any eggs or baking powder in the house, so you reach for the pancake mix.

This makes you some kind of lazy, rock-headed doofus?

Most people—most people—are under the impression that this stuff lasts forever, and it is fast and convenient. And no, this is not a "cock and bull" story. Read the link to Snopes that I posted above!

My concept of everyday cooking is to pour some milk on a bowl of cereal. But when it comes to haut cuisine, I make one helluva peanut-butter and jelly sandwich. My ham and cheese sandwich is worthy of international awards. One of my favorite breakfasts is a couple two or three slices of toast made with Trader Joe's "Cinnamon Swirl" bread with soy butter and orange marmalade on it (soy butter tastes a bit like peanut butter, but it's smoother, and if you spread it carefully, it caulks the holes in the cinnamon toast so the marmalade doesn't drip through onto your shirt front). Yum!! As to making dinner and such, I am an ordained expert at putting a casserole dish (ingredients constructed by my wife) into a microwave oven and pressing the necessary buttons. It's all in the index finger.

I have watched Julia Child and Jeff Smith, the Frugal Gourmet in the past, so I do have a concept of the intricacies of it all, but I leave the really exotic stuff to my wife. Christmas dinner is gonna be a real doozy this year. Several guests coming for dinner and she's doing a sort of Greek theme.

Don Firth