"precisely "looking at ourselves" that people are, in so many ways , resistant to - hence blaming, amongst other things"
that was part of the idea I was going to allude to today.
On top of that ,Ivor, the percieved reality we make of another person is remarkably so flawed that most of us have learned to keep such "percieved realities" to ourselves.
Sometimes we laugh heartily at the comedian who dares say what others may only think.
Lets try an experiment: Since I have never met any of you and you are all virtual personalities to me as well, could you openly share what your perceived reality of me would be. ( I promise to remain objectively unoffended) And if you did how close do you think it would be to other realities as well as my own? Some of us have been taught "Judge not lest ye be judged" but we do do it internally every moment.
Beyond your likely first thought of "I don't know" there would be some kind of mental image but sharing that image would be sharing inate and acquired fears, hopes and personal experiences far removed from who I may be or who I may be like. There may also be a strong reluctence to do so because one would not want to offend or hurt the other by being honest with one's acquired perception. What I am getting at, beyond projection, is that it is as difficult to share your deep impression of another as it is to share an understanding of yourself. To do so is to reveal your own emotional self which , in my opinion, most people do not do.
The totally open and unabashed person is usually a joy to be around but to be that way ourself is difficult and in many situations impossible in society.
Because of training I suspect Ivor could do it fairly accurately but my acquired perceived reality of Janie says that she could not.
Since Janie is largely an unknown person to me... Let me first ask permission from Janie if I were to be allowed to state what my internal judge has to say about Janie. In doing so I certainly dare to be wrong .
which is why we don't do this along with avoiding causing hard feelings. THis is hard feelings may come from the internal nether world of perception and could be totally wrong headed,