Like how people often don't meet the other but their own projections,(or even avoid the other because their own projections), and have no idea th't that's what's going on. To do so requires a depth of self-knowledge that any number of people know little or nothing of (and have no idea exists.)
Now we're into my earlier point about levels of consciousness.
Just as children can't get a lot of what is going on with adults because they inhabit a different psycho-biologico-intellectual world, so those who've been thru many sorts of experience canno have dialogues of real comprehension with those who haven't, common language or not.