Good evening, everyone. I have returned to my little old sod shanty in Pacific Northwest, surrounded by acres of claims. And the snow lays as a quilt upon mountains, a whitework piece that only Nature (or Mom) can create.

I am so very glad to be back, and to see that Amos and MMario and Stilly and Janie and everyone has been taking such good care of Mom. I did my best, but that George and Laura! fight fight fight all the time. If it's not over Condi it's over the girls' desire to help their friend Paris with her project about drunken Indian elephants and George saying in all seriousness "I didn't KNOW the Apaches had got into Eli's pants" and, well, the chaos was unbelievable.

Phooey on them, I say. Fie upon them. It's a dysfunctional family and I can't do a thing to help them if they don't cooperate.

I got enough trouble with the Legion.