Oy Sarah -

There's naught fer me to do on my end. Pressie Box hasn't been returned. US Postals peoples sez iffin it was coming back herez, its woulda been herez by now. It might be wise fer yez to ask yer employer ta looks into that there mail situation. Iffin they ordered their mails ta beez forwarded, Pressie Box shoulda been forwarded. It were sent First Class Air Mail (Par Avion dontcha know!) but not in anways of requirin' a signature lessen the royal mail folk require signatures for boxes from some t'other countries far away.

Nothin can be dun 'bout ta pressie box on my end. Sorry. Iffin I talks about it much morez, Iz gonnaa strts a wailin' and gnashin' my 3 remainin' teefs.

Yez need to puts on yer deerstalker cap and play at Sherlock Holmesing teh pressie box outta hiding! Good stuffs in that there pressie box. Has yez a bloodhound? Iffin yez let him sniff some chocolate, some popcorn and some spearmints, and tells him "Go find boy!" he mights sniff teh pressie box out fer yez.

I gots some meager little xxxtra pressies I was gonna send but Iz gonna wait til I knows you be back at work an then - I gonna sends 'em surface mail cuz I done blew the pirate postal allowance on teh 1st box. Hopes yez understand.

Yer Big Pressie box wuz mailed on December 4th from Beverly Hills CA 90212 to the first address yez gave the squeaky gal iffin that helps yez track it down. My guess - it's at that old office place or sittin' whar orphaned mails of recently moved offices tend to be sittin'' whartever thats might be.

Peg Leg Pierce
Sad and dejected Christmas Pirate