Jesus and Satan were always arguing about who was better on the computer.

They had been going at it for eons, and, frankly, God, even with his
infinite patience, was just a little bit tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough! I am going to set
up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge
-- for once, and for all! -- who is better on the computer."

The very next day, the Ultimate Computer Match-Up began: Satan and Jesus sat
down at their respective keyboards, and on the command, "GO!", started to
compute.

They typed.

They moused.

They formatted.

They did fancy fonts.

They copied.

They cut-and-pasted.

The touched up photos.

They faxed.

They emailed.

They emailed with inserts, and backgrounds.

They emailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets and databases.

They did sound.

They filtered music.

They made play lists.

They edited video, with three-track sound.

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports.

They did every job known to man and woman.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency, and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed
across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went
off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in
the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

The power came back on, and each of them restarted their computers.

Satan started searching frantically, screaming, "It's gone! It's all GONE!
I've lost everything! Arrrgh!!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all his files from the past
two hours of work. Satan observed this, and became highly irate.

"Wait!" Satan screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all
his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said,










"Jesus saves."