BESSIE THE HEIFER

My daddy gave a calf to me for a Christmas present once
I picked a little heifer out, Cause both of us was runts
She never had no sense but she grew up alright somehow
And when it comes to giving milk, she's an educated cow

Oh Bessie the Heifer, the queen of all the cows
She gave more milk than any law allows
In the morning she gave pasteurized
At night she give homogenized
Bessie the Heifer, the queen of all the cows

I took her to the county fair to try to win a prize
She knew just what was going on, I saw it in her eyes
The contest made her nervous she tried so hard to please
That when I tried to milk her, all I got was cottage cheese

Oh Bessie the Heifer, the queen of all the cows
She gave more milk than any law allows
In the morning she gave pasteurized
At night she give homogenized
Bessie the Heifer, the queen of all the cows

I planted me a tater patch to try to earn some dough
To take a short vacation with some city folks I know
But no one else would milk the cow, no matter how I'd nag
So Pa took my vacation, leaving me to hold the bag.