Sorry I'm late, but I just flew in from Crete, got a little high on the flight, and my meshuggenah wings melted!
But Women...who can understand 'em? If you need a sacrificial maiden, take my wife...Please! She has undergone all the the accepted purification rituals! In fact,by Persephone and the Seven Seeds, she's nearly a reborn virgin!
I left her at the Temple of Artemis...Zeus knows, they got some tough gals there...an hour later she had the decorator in, reupholstering the Throne of Diana! I won't say she's got lousy taste, but Pluto kicked her out of Hades for putting a little pink sweater on Cerberus!
Hey that Hercules is something, ain't he? Cleaned out those Augean Stables and didn't even break a sweat! By the Two-headed Infant of Thebes, I'm thinking of hiring him to straighten out my garage! He's a tough guy...I'm not about to mess with a guy that slew the Lernaen Hydra...but that lion skin jump suit, baby! That thing needs to be dropped off at the drycleaners, if you get my drift. I'm not saying he smells a little ripe or anything, but I saw him knock three crows off a dung wagon in the Forum yesterday.
Ouch, you're a tough crowd! Getting a laugh out of you is like trying to get lucky in Lesbos. Even the Trojans horse around more than this!