I went to my girlfriend and this I did say:
'What would you like since today's your birthday?'
She said 'I'd like diamonds' - so right there and then
I gave her the ace jack queen king nine and ten.

I went for a trip on the old underground
But I slipped on the step and I fell to the ground.
The vicar rushed up -'Did you miss a step, son?'
I said 'No you daft *******, I hit every one'