NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND - FOOTBALL VERSION


--- mmagnus@mcttelecom.com wrote:

> For all educators in and out of the education system:
>
> 1. All teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST
>   win the championship. If a team does not win the
> championship, they will be on probation until they are
>   the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.
>   If after two years they have not won the championship
>   their footballs and equipment will be taken away UNTIL
> they do win the championship.
>
> 2. All kids will be expected to have the same football
>   skills at the same time, even if they do not have the
>   same conditions or opportunities to practice on their
> own. NO exceptions will be made for lack of interest
>   in football, a desire to perform athletically, or
>   genetic abilities or disabilities of themselves or
>   their parents. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A
> PROFICIENT LEVEL!
>
> 3. Talented players will be asked to workout on their
>   own, without instruction. This is because the coaches
>   will be using all their instructional time with the
>   athletes who aren't interested in football, have
>   limited athletic ability or whose parents don't like
>   football.
>
> 4. Games will be played year round, but statistics
>   will only be kept in the 5th, 8th, and 11th game. This
> will create a New Age of Sports where every school is
>   expected to have the same level of talent and all
>   teams will reach the same minimum goals. If no child
>   gets ahead, then no child gets left behind. If parents
> do not like this new law, they are encouraged to vote
>   for vouchers and support private schools that can
>   screen out the non-athletes and prevent their children
>   from having to go to school with bad football players.