WARNING: THIS POST IS SATIRE,PARODY,AND HUMOR NOT INTENDED FOR MASS PUBLIC CREDENCE
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Chelsea Sneaks Out, Declares for Barack

Chelsea Clinton, former First Daughter, held an unexpected press conference at 1:00 on the morning of February 2d, and announced she was throwing her support whole-heartedly behind Barack Obama's candidacy.

"I love my mother, don't get me wrong," she told reporters at Dallas Fort Worth International Airport's confernece room, which she rented using her father's Master Card. "But she's like, so, like...I mean, she's such a 'rent!! The only thing hip about her is her waistline. I know she thinks she deserves to be President, but I am so like, "Whatever, Mom!". But I am crazy about Barack. He makes my heart flutter. And I think he would be a really, really awesome President for our country."

Reporters were unable to get the details of Chelsea's household rebellion from her, but apparently she shinnied down a nearby pine tree from her second-story bed-room and rode her bike to the neareast Avis office, where she rented a car and drove to Kennedy airport, making calls on her cellphone to reserve last minute tickets, call the press conference, and reserve the conference room in DFW's huge airport. As far as can be determined, all these expenses are being paid for by her parents' credit card and Verizon accounts.

Contacted by phone, her mother was irate at being raised from sleep at 5 in the morning. "Do you know what TIME it is?", she snarled at this reporter. "My daughter is upstairs in her bed, sleeping, as far as I know." This reporter had no further opportunity to offer the candidate an update on recent events.

Oprah Winfrey told the press shortly after Chelsea's conference that she was "incredibly proud of this independent and strong minded young American woman." Chelsea's father had no comment when contact at his wife's campaign headquarters later this nmorning.

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WARNING: THE FOREGOING NEWS ARTICLE WAS FICTITIOUS. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REAL INDIVIDUALS ALIVE OR DEAD IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.