Snail - say it ain't so. At least many of the websites are down.

Just have to take up Change Ringing I guess. Anybody for a stirring round of Kent Trebel Bob?

(Just gotta stop reading Dorothy Sayers mysteries!)

Of course if you really want to introduce competitive sport, there is always lawn mower racing. Been described as the definitive British sport - a totally pointless activity usually taking place in the worst possible weather.