I would send the dachshund up on the roof to check out the situation, but I can't because...

1. He can't climb ladders.
2. He flatly refuses to go up there anyway, even with assistance...
3. He's so fat now that I'm afraid he might tip the balance past the "red line" and bring the whole damn edifice crashing down!

Matter of fact, he's not too pleased about the recent snowfall. He seems to want me to hire some servants to carry him outdoors on a cushioned palanquin, like an Oriental potentate, and allow him to peruse his realm from a position of safety and comfort whilst deciding on where to leave his calling card this time.

"Go out for a walk?" Not a chance! He looks at me as if to say, "In THIS weather? Surely you jest!"