Here is the text of part one of "It's In the Book," as transcribed from Dr. Demento Goose's Mother! Rhino 71919, 1995. Original issue was Capitol single 2249, 1952. For those of you who have never heard it, it is likely that it will make no sense at all. Grandpa Vern Berry, who died year before last, was an old time fiddler at Silver Dollar City near Branson, Missouri. He told me that he had seen Johnny Standley do this live~~picture a fellow dressed as an old time preacher, thumping the book to punctuate his words, and you might get a glimmer of how it was.

Oh, and I knew it was Little Bo Peep, not Mary Had A Little Lamb. I was just testing everyone else's memories.

I have a message for you, a very sad message. My subject for this evening will be Little Bo Peep. It says here, "Little Bo Peep"—who was a little girl—"has lost her sheep and doesn't know where to find them." Now, that's reasonable, isn't it? It's reasonable to assume, if Little Bo Peep had lost her sheep, it's only natural that she wouldn't know where to find them. That basically is reasonable. "But leave them alone"—now that overwhelms me, completely overwhelms me. The man said, "she lost her sheep," turns right around and boldly states, "she doesn't know where to find them," and then has the stupid audacity to say, "Leave them alone." Now, now, now think for a moment. Think! If the sheep were lost and you couldn't find them, you'd have to leave them alone, wouldn't you? So leave them alone. Leave them alone! It's in the book! "Leave them alone, and they"—they being the sheep—"they will come home." Ah, yes, they'll come home. Oh, there'll be a brighter day tomorrow! They will come home. It's in the book! "They will come home, a-wagging their tails"—pray tell me, what else could they wag?—"They will come home, a-wagging their tails behind them." Behind them! Did we think they'd wag them in front? Of course, they, they might have come home in reverse. They could have done that; I really don't know. But nonetheless, it's in the book!