You're a wit and a half, you are.

If they cleaned all the dirt off you, there wouldn't be anything left but the shit from your guts.

I don't need to know who you are; I know what you are.

If I tell the truth in this court, it will only be to show my contempt.

You deserve what liars have deserved since time immemorial: to be routinely insulted and routinely disbelieved.

You're a people person. You can't deal with anything that has no ass to kiss or throat to cut.