Don Firth: And the congregation shall say, "Amen." I keep trying to explain to my dear wife that the days before you had your choice of AM, FM, satellite, cable and movie complexes with 17 screens, you were in no hurry to get through the song so you could get back to the entertainment. The song WAS the entertainment, and when it was over, you blew out the candle (if you could afford one) and went to bed. Play it again, Sam. (My wife brings me lunch too, though, so I have to present this diplomatically, and I am not allowed to use charts and a pointer.)

The open mic I currently frequent has a five minute rule. And they only have one gathering a month. I'm suddenly and perversely tempted to do something in parts, like an old Buck Rogers movie serial. My version of Staggerlee runs for 17 minutes, so I could trim some and still get three months of program out of that.

Yes, the limited playing time on 45 rpms, 78 rpms and Edison cylinders meant verses had to be omitted. (Remember the 45 with "Topsy, Part I" on one side and "Topsy, Part II" on the flip?) I learned "Old 97" off a 78 and fifteen years later met a real "good old boy" from the Alabama hills who taught me the verses that they had to omit to get it all on the record. Lazarus, come forth.

The point was made that a paying audience deserves a certain level of quality, with which I agree, but I'll go beyond that. An audience of 40 performers hoping for one of 24 slots for the evening, many of the said performers actually being quite accomplished musicians, should not have to make room for those who not only have not mastered the basics, but do not know what they are. Unless of course, there is mass appeal for someone who plays any song, be it a waltz, a samba or the blues, with exactly the same rhythm, cause why change a good thing, yunno? I'm all for letting beginners begin, but if they don't progress at other than a glacial rate, excuse me for being frustrated.

Nerd: Homer did not write the Iliad. Jethro did.

Chicken Charlie