Hazel, don't beat yourself up. I repeat, don't beat yourself up. You've just come off a MAJOR stressor with your daughter's health and all. We women tend to do that, beat ourselves up, much too much.

Breaking a *rule* of this thread, but this feels important. Feel free to join in, I can always delete it later.

I heard an author speak the other day and what she said made a lot of sense to me. So much so, that I have been able, for the first time in about 10-15 years, to make a MAJOR, positive change in how my days play out which is having a direct and immediate effect on my weight and physical ability.

She speaks of emotional eating which I just thought of as one more "bad" thing I do out of frustration, pain, sadness, happiness, etc. She pointed out that women, esp. will think to themselves if they don't help this one more person, or do this one more task, or whatever they push themselves to do, they will be a BAD person because they might actually put themselves first. Remember a "good girl" helps others, etc.? I always thought I was being a selfish bitch by "making" others take care of me. Yes, for a time I needed that because I was so sick, but it became a bad habit and I think I've finally broken it. She went on to use the analogy of a flight attendant telling a mother to put her own O2 mask on before her children's as, if she did not, there might not be anyone to help her children in the event of a crash. Putting herself first. I thought I'd been doing that until now.

Now, instead of getting my breakfast and coming into the computer first thing, I eat in the kitchen and take my time. That's another thing she said, we take care of everything and every one else and think we have NO time to take care of ourselves. IF we take care of ourselves first, we will find more time to help others and/or do the things which have to be done. So, even after I eat, I still do not come in here to work. I wash my hair or do some dishes, then I get on the treadmill. This feels so good, this routine. Putting myself first, NOT feeling stressed for time, thinking I HAVE to get this or that done asap.

I am not making it as clear as she did, so I would urge you to visit her website at Geneen Roth dot com

Oh, one more thing: T-10

Thanks!