There are several threads in the Forum dealing with this song and it's also in the Digitrad (slight differences in the lyrics from those posted earlier on this thread). When the Reivers were together in Kamloops, British Columbia in the 1970s/1980s we came across a recording by Rory and Alex McEwan and Dick and Caroline Farina, and sang their version of it.

While clowning around in rehearsals, Reiver 1 and I began substituting what we thought were appropriate phrases in certain lines. I don't believe we ever used these in public, but I always wished we could. We'd use different "voices" as appropriate for the different characters, with two of us sharing the roles of the gallant knight, the locksmith, Sir Oswald (with a lisp), a stuttering page boy, the gentle maiden and a multi-voice chorus. Great fun! The words went like this:

CHASTITY BELT

"Oh, say, gemtle maiden, may I be your lover?
Condemn me no longer to mourn and to weep.
Struck down like a hart I lie wounded and fainting,
Oh, let down your drawbridge, I'll enter your keep."

CHO: Enter her keep, nonny, nonny,
       Horny old creep, nonny, nonny.
       He'd have gone elsewhere, but the price was too steep.

"Alas, gallant errant, I am not a maiden,
I'm married to Sir Oswald, that cunning old Celt.
He's gone to the wars for a twelve-month or longer,
And taken the key to my chastity belt."

CHO: Chastity belt, nonny, nonny,
      Cast iron and felt, nonny, nonny,
      She can't get out of her chastity belt.

"Fear not, gentle lady, for I know a locksmith;
To his forge we will go, on his door we will knock (thumps on guitar)
And try to avail us of his specialized knowledge,
To see if he's able to open your lock."

CHO: Open your lock, nonny, nonny,
      Sounds like a crock, nonny, nonny,
      Will he be able to open her lock?

"Alas, Sir and Madam, to help I'm unable;
My technical knowledge is to no avail.
I can't find the secret to your combination,
The cunning old basket has fitted a Yale."

CHO: Fitted a Yale, nonny, nonny,
      He'll get no tail, nonny, nonny,
      Senile old locksmith can't open a Yale.

"I'm back fwom the waws with bad news of disastah,
A tewibble mishap I have to impaht.
While my ship was a passing the stwaits of Gibwaltah,
I ovehboahd dwopped the key, sad is my heaht."

CHO: Sad is his heart, nonny, nonny,
      Clumsy old fart, nonny, nonny,
      He overboard dropped it, (he's not very smart.)

"Alas and alack! I am locked up forever!"
Then up spoke a pageboy, saying, "L-L-Leave this to me.
If you will a-a-low to enter your ch-ch-chamber,
I'll open it up with my d-d-duplic-c-cate key."

CHO: Duplicate key, nonny, nonny
      It worked for he, nonny, nonny,
      Saturday nights with his duplicate key.


-- Reiver 2