Mike Cross did indeed write the song, with Bryan Bowers probably getting the most airplay from it.

I recorded it on my Seamus Kennedy Live album way back when with the additional verses which I wrot.

Our Scottish friend, still dressed in kilt, continued up down the street
He hadn't gone ten yards or more, when a lass he down to meet.
She said: "I've heard what's under there, tell me, is it so?"
He said: "Just slip your hand up, miss, if you'd really like to know!"

So she slipped her hand right up his kilt, and much to her surprise,
The Scotsman smiled, and a very strange look came into his eyes,
She said: "Why, sir, that's gruesome!" And then she heard him roar:
"If you put yer hand up once again, you'll find it's grew some more!"

Yes, it's a smutty old joke brilliantly set to music by the gifted Mike Cross, and I just added an extra smutty joke on the same theme to his song.


Seamus