I agree, Jacqui. Legalised has got to be better than not, imo, esp. if it is done as Mick says they reported in Nevada, where the cases of HIV are so low, etc. I suppose it could be seen as some sort of empowerment IF a woman had other realistic choices for employment, IF she had a contract with provisions for getting out whenever she wanted. Also, if we legalised it, it should be treated as real employment with benefits, etc. (I know, hope that will be so for ALL of us, soon!) I still don't see it as empowerment over men through the act of sex, though, if that is what hg meant, Mick. Not sure what she said exactly.

I have a sort of related question: do women use male prostitutes? If so, are there any studies which say if they are married, etc.? I know there are escort services, but are the men expected to "put out" and do the women do that? I would think they would feel just as vulnerable as sex with any man they just met, except that it is a company they've called for the "escort." Women can have healthy sexual appetites as much as men and get as frustrated or lonely. I have some friends who have what they call "fuck-buddies" who seem content to use each other in a sexual, no-strings-attached kind of way. It seems crude, but honest, realistic and somewhat healthy. Of course one of them might develop an emotional attachment which could cause bliss or make them both miserable. I don't know, just kind of thinking out loud here.

There was one time when I was a young, divorced mother of two surviving on minimum wage, living on my parents' property in a trailer home. I had a really nice male friend whom I was sexual with on occasion. We also just enjoyed nights out, camping with my kids and other totally non-sexual things. He was just out of a marriage, older than I, and a genuinely nice person. (It was him I turned to when an ex-boyfriend came over drunk one night when I was all alone and raped me.)

He and I were out at a fairly upscale lounge having drinks one night. I was 21 23 and *hot*, size 7, dressed to the nines, etc. This was when silver and turquoise jewellery was the big rage in the West. A jewellery salesman came over to me when my friend was getting us more drinks and offered me any piece of silver and turquoise jewellery he had in his showcase IF I would go back to his room with him. I was flattered, shocked, and annoyed. It was fun to flirt with him just a little bit; it did give me a sense of power over him, sort of, at that moment, knowing he desired me. I didn't understand all of this at the time, of course, except the way I felt. I told him "no" which more importantly in my mind, ALSO made me feel powerful. When my friend came back I told him what had happened. We then went round the room, looking at the various single men trying to suss out just what they might spend to have a night with me. It was done as a lark and did not go any further. I had complete trust, well-placed, in my friend and we left quite safely, together.

That incident did get me to thinking a few times when I had nothing to buy heating oil with and other times when it was just damn hard to be a young, single mom with two little ones. That was the closest I ever came to thinking about prostituting myself. Fortunately, I always had a good, secure self-image, thanks to my parents and family and, also thanks to them, some help over the difficult times, so I never had to make that choice. I know I was very, very fortunate.

kat