Following is the entire version I heard recited by Francis Bacon (Not the "Sir Francis Bacon" you're thinking of) on our high school band bus years ago...

T'was the night of the King's Castration and the King was giving a Ball...his left one.

The Queen had said "I want to be King too!", and so the King agreed...not because he had to, but because he had two!

But when the King said "Ball"...well, everyone did, so there was a population explosion in the land.

So the King summonned forth David, but David slipped on a lion's turd and came fifth...

"Ho!" said David.
"What Ho?" asked the King.
"Ass Ho!" replied David.
Chalk one up for the common people.

For his insolence, David was thrown into the lion's den...
As a lion crept upon him, David grabbed him by the balls.

"That tickles!" said the lion.
"What tickles?" asked David.
"Testicles!" replied the lion.
Chalk one up for the mangey beast.

Meanwhile, the knights were merrily stacking camel turds upon the round table, as bullshit had not yet been invented.

Shit flew at random. Random ducked. Shit hit the King.

"Shit!" yelled the King. And the King's word being law in those days, there was a mass movement throughout the land.

Later that night in the Royal Bedchamber, "Roll over!" said the King.
"Fu@#ed if I will!" said the Queen. "Yes, indeed! But corn holed if you don't!" said the King.

As it came out, the Queen got it in

The End...