I`ad that Matthew Parris in my cab the `uvver day. `e said " Elsie`s, Cowden Pound please".
I said "Righto".
I said to `im "`ere, you bin mouffing off about our folk music? You got `em all at one another`s froats on that "Mudcat Cafe".
`e said "Where?. Mudcat Cafe?. Is that some new Jamie Oliver place?".
I said "Nah, it`s that Internet forum on your computer where they all `ave their free-pennoff about songs and fings"
`e said "Good, at least it`ll stop `em all catterwauling for a while!!"

What am I like?