There was a young fellow named Fred
Had a tool with a corkscrew-shaped head.
He found, having hunted,
A girl corkscrew-cunted,
But, alas, with a Fred-reversed thread.

My "hardware" limerick. I used to clerk in a small town hardware store (circa 1978-9) where I'd wear my "hardware" T-shirt -- "Hard lay, soft lay, laid as you want it -- Rockport Rope and Twine Company".

Linn