Enjoyed reading again, but forgotten I'd already contributed!
There is always the famous honeymooners pub, Cock Inn, Welwyn, Herts (how do you get there? go through Maidenhead and you'll find yourself in Staines)
There used to be two pubs in New Hey (check), both called the Bird in Hand, both Sam Smiths known locally as Top Bird and Bottom Bird
In case you are worried about ale in Oz we have a couple of dozen pub-breweries in easy reach and we can buy Youngs Bitter for less than 30 bob a metric pint. Pub names tend to be the predictable gimmicky although Little Creatures would be unusual, now their ale is on sale in the UK.