Earlier we talked about where inspiration comes from (answer: dunno). Well, the heated conversation on the "English National Instrument" thread triggered a thought and resulted in the following:

When England wants to play a tune of which she can be proud,
she needs an instrument to hand that is both shrill and loud.
The concertina is no good, the fiddle is too frail
bodhran and harp are foreign, the melodeon's gone stale.
Guitars are ten a penny, the piano is too grand,
you need something that plays classic, folk, pop and brass band.
The answer is so obvious, on this I'll no more drone:
The English National Instrument is the Mobile Phone!