Recorded by Josh MacRae and Billy Connolly (and probably others). Google gives lots of track listings and downloads for Baron James McPhait, but no lyrics. Here it is from memory, and in almost standard English spelling.

BARON JAMES MCPHAIT

Now James McPhait was a Glasgow lad whose fame it was far and wide
He's known from old Dumbarton to the town of East Kilbride
Now Jamie was a a roving boy, though civilised of late
You'd see him wheel his barrow up & down the Gallowgate

He'll tell you of the wild McPhaits who fought at Prestonpans
Or how he fought at Bridgeton Cross with nothing in his hands
But the best tale that I've heard him tell I will to you relate
How Jamie was created 1st Baron James McPhait.

It was at a Rangers-Celtic match, I'm sure you'll all have mind
Of the fighting and the cursing in the days of Auld Lang Syne
Now Jamie was the boy, you see, who stopped the hullabaloo
Into the pavilion he did sneak before the match was due

Said Big McGrath, "Och, I protest, that ball's an awful sheen"
For one half it was painted blue, the other half was green.
"Sure", he said, "for boldness that boy you cannot beat."
For the mighty deed was done by our hero James McPhait.

When the Magistrates of Glasgow town had heard of what he'd done
They sent a message to the press and all the bells were rung.
The Parliament of Westminster with praises was [noblate]???
So Jamie was created first Baron James McPhait.

The Lord Mayor of London said "We think you've done damned well.
England praises all you've done: our pride for you does swell."
Said Jamie "If I could only speak, the truth to you I'd tell -
I did the deed for Glasgow: all the rest can go to hell"