Anyone else have a philosophical monkey quoted to them?

If you complained about something:
"Hard lines! (as the monkey said when he sat on the railway)"

In response to impatient kids:(When! How soon! etc.)
"'Twon't be long now. (as the monkey said when he cut off his tail)"

When we asked Mum to find something, and it was in plain sight all along: "If 'twas a dog, 'twould bite you".