There once was a farmer who sat on a rock
Tossing and waving his great hairy
Hand at the people in the old days of yore
When along came a lady who looked like a
Descent young lady, she walked like a duck
She said she was learning a new way to
Educate her children to sew and to knit
While the lads in the stable were shovelling the
Contents of the stable, the muck and the mire
While the filthy old farmer was pulling his
Horse from the stable to go on a hunt
While lady in waiting was powdering her
Face for the occasion of tea on the grass
While the big fat policeman was wiping his
Forehead, which was sweaty the poor heated chap
He said to the green grocer don't give me no
Vegetables today man 'cause I won't be here
I'm going to see my son who is a
Student at university in Niagara Falls
He sits there all day man and plays with his
Chess set that I sent him when he turned twenty one
To stop him from touching the neighbours
Sweet violets, sweeter than the roses,
Covered all over from head to toe,
Covered all over in big piles of...
Now what did you think I was going to say?
No, you dirty bastards; that's all for today.