There was an old farmer who sat on some ricks
Teaching the children to play with their—
Toys and their marbles as in days of yore
When along came a lady who looked like a—
Decent young lady, she walked like a duck,
Said she'd invented a new way to—
Educate her children to sew and to knit
While the lord of the manor was shoveling the—
Contents of the stable the muck and the mire
And the lads in the cowsheds were pulling his—
Horse from the stable to go out and hunt
While his wife in her boudoir was powdering her—
Nose and arranging her vanity box
Taking precautions to ward off the—
Gout and rheumatics which shook her to bits
And the doctor's pink pills which got on her—
Nerves and made her feel such a fool
'Cause well she remembered how she played with his—
Instruments and gadgets and asked him to tea
Knowing full well he was bursting to—
Introduce his family and eat his wife's tarts,
Contenting himself with occasional—
References to his business his money and his luck
And his life's one ambition which was to learn how to—
Be a farmer's boy-oy-oy-oy, to be a farmer's boy.