OK, let's have a sea shanty then ...

Killer Fish of the Sea

Come all you young sailormen, listen to me
I'll tell you of killers that live in the sea
And its

Chorus

Windy weather boys, stormy weather
When the fish come, they'll attack us together
Blow ye winds westerly. Blow ye winds blow
Of fish and of dying you've all got to know

The electric eel stings with a huge fatal jolt
Not kilo, not mega, but full gigavolt
And its …

The archer fish shoots and he shoots really mean
His arrows are tipped with deadly strichnine
And its …

Pirhannas are known to strip flesh from the bone
Just dangle your fingers, you'll never get home
And it's …

The killer whale kills, and he kills with one bite
A snap from his jaws, and then out goes your light
And it's …

Don't swallow a goldfish, of this please take note
He'll make every effort to stick in your throat
And it's …

Now salmon is good, the Italians say 'Bella'
But he comes with his friend, and she's called Salmonella
And it's …

I once had a friend, kept koi carp in a pond
One day he slipped in, now he's far gone beyond
And it's …

At sea or on shore, by pond or by river
The fish aim to get you, and kill you forever
And it's …

When your singing improves, you'll then get your wish
You'll no more sing songs about dying and fish
And it's …