Sister Catherine walked into the dining hall for breakfast. "Sister, I see you got out of bed on the wrong side this morning," Mother Miriam said to her. This went on all day with others saying exactly the same.
That evening Sister Teresa comes up to her. "Sister Catherine, I see you got out of bed on the wrong side this morning."

"No, I've been cheerful all day! Why does everybody keep saying that I must've gotten out of bed the wrong side?"

"Well, you're wearing the Pope's shoes."

A man walked into a doctors waiting room and saw a nun sitting there crying her eyes out, obviously very upset. When he went into the doctor he asked the good physician why the nun was crying so much. the doctor replied, "I told her she was pregnant." "Good grief," said the guy, "How can that be, since she is a nun?" "She isn't really," said the good doctor, "but it cured her hiccups."

Two nuns riding bicycles down a cobbled street, and one turns to the other and says "Do you know, I've never come this way before."

A priest was confronted by a prostitute. "Do you want a quickie for five rand?". Not knowing what it was, he said no. A few minutes another prostitute also offered him a quickie for five rand. Again he said no. When he got back to the monastery, his curiosity got the better of him, and he went to a nun. "What," he asked, "is a quickie?" "Five rand, same as in town," the nun answered.