2nd song. WARNING -- put your coffee down before you read on! (Oh, and for non-UK 'catters, B&Q is a home improvement store)

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T:The Broken Promise
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"By Steve Parkes""Generated by Noteworthy Composer"DD DF | AA AA | B2 B2 | AF2E | D2 DF | AF DF | \
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The Broken Promise
(Steve Parkes)

Margaret and David were a nice young couple
They both went to chapel over Netherton way,
Sharing a hymn-book every Sunday morning,
Holding hands in secret as they knelt down to pray.

Well, being so in love they decided to get married,
So they went to the minister to ask his advice.
Now, the minister was noted for severity and stricture;
This is what he told them, and it wasn't very nice:

"Young people nowadays have no sense of decency,
They flout God's commandments and they have no shame.
There's no room in the Lord's house for people of that kidney—
They are bound for the torment of the everlasting flame!

"So pay close attention to the words that I say to you
If in this congregation you wish to remain:
For the space of one month from the day of your wedding
From carnal hanky-panky you must promise to abstain."

And so it came to pass that Margaret and David
In the sacrament of marriage at the altar were united;
Determined to preserve their promise inviolate,
Their love for each other pro tem unrequited.

For the first few days they didn't have much trouble—
The odd sharp word and the occasional tiff;
But by the end of the week, the pressure was a-building,
And David's upper lip was getting very stiff.

David said, "Mags, I'm really getting desperate,
If we don't do something soon, I can't see us lasting
To the end of the month – after all, we're only human:
Let's seek the Lord's help through prayer and fasting."

All went well for the space of a day or two,
Their promise to be virtuous remained unmarred;
But once more the problem reared its ugly head,
They were forced to admit that things were getting very hard.

Then Margaret said, "Dave, a displacement activity's
The thing to do the trick – let's just go out and shop:
We'll buy paint and paper and we'll measure for new curtains—
We'll decorate our dwelling from the bottom to the top!

But the best-laid plans of mice and men and newly-weds
Will often go agley, as Burns once said:
The very next day they went back to the minister,
And David told the story as in shame he hung his head.

"It all went well till Margaret bent over for a paint-pot—
I was overwhelmed by love and did what any man would do."
"I'm sorry," said the minister, "but you're no longer welcome here."
David answered, "That's what they said in B & Q!"



Both this song and the previous one are copyright 2008 to Steve Parkes