Hmmm. Okay, here's what I'm thinking. Attend one of our free seminars and see what you can pick up by mingling among the staff and students at the soiree afterward. Wear a sign saying "Will polish your beefsteak for information." I guarantee that will get results. It's surprising who shows up at these events, and you never know when He might drop in for an unannounced visit! Matter of fact, that's half of what keeps people coming. They couldn't live with themselves if they missed out on that.

There's a gigantic replica of a Tribble on the front lawn, complete with real fur, and it makes a great backdrop for photos, so bring friends and family if you can.