This is from Sunday's big rally for the PPA in Denver, Colorado:

Chongo Chimp said today that all primates in the world have been insulted by the many popular pictorial comparisons of George Bush to various chimpanzees that have been seen of recent years in political cartoons and on the Internet.

"That man in no way resembles a Chimpanzee OR a monkey!" thundered Chongo as he addressed an enormous gathering of apes and monkeys at an arena in Denver, Colorado. "He looks more like the Missing Link to me! (This drew much laughter and hooting from the enthusiastic crowd.) "To say that he does resemble Chimps or Monkeys is rank specism, and it's an insult to all self-respecting primates. Furthermore, he is not America's "first chimp in the White House", as some foolish people have been irresponsible enough to label him."

"But I bet you can tell me who IS going to be the first Chimp in the White House..." yelled Chongo. The response was defeaning as 135,000 or more apes and monkeys went into a frenzy, chanting "CHONGO! CHONGO! CHONGO! CHONGO!" over and over again. The chanting went on for a full minute and a half and raised a ruckus that could easily be heard 15 or 20 blocks away.

It looks like the brief scandals of Gorilla Gate and Blonde Circus Dame Gate that had Chongo's campaign hurting badly a few weeks back have now been securely put to rest as apes and monkeys nationwide have put aside their differences and have united in a solid front to make Chongo Chimp president of the United States.

How will this affect Obama's and McCain's chances in November? It's hard to say, but my guess is that they are both far more concerned about it than they are prepared to admit.