I have tried to start this a half dozen times today, but I just can't find the words to adequately express all I am feeling. Here goes number 7.

First, an update on Ciara's condition. She is out of the hospital after spending 3 days in the intensive care unit of Helen DeVos Childrens Hospital. As her hemoglobin levels stabilized, they then moved her into the general ward, in a private room, and went to twice daily checks as opposed to the more intensive stuff for two more days. As Spaw told you (love you, buddy, and thanks!!), she has a lacerated spleen, a lacerated liver, a pneumothorax, a concussion, and massive bruising in the chest and lap area, as well as some whiplash. She responded well to treatment. I think they really wanted to keep her a bit longer, but she was insistent on being released in time for the visitation/funeral on Wednesday and Thursday. But she is under very close watch for the next three weeks.

Physically she is recovering just fine. We are well aware that the care and counseling she needs is beyond our pay grade. I can tell you all that I am well aware of the little monster that still runs around my mind from time to time known as PTSD. We are blessed that we have found a wonderful therapist who works with teens and is very effective. Her edge is that she herself went through this same event as a young woman. We are headed for vacation at the Jersey shore in a week, and when we get back we will start the process.

The family of Terra is a rare jewel to be cherished. Almost from the first minute they expressed love and caring about my little girl. After a very trying day of visitation, they stayed and made time for Ciara and our family to come privately to meet with them. It went as you would expect, and they expressed love and support for Ciara. Very difficult, but very necessary. And this family made it therapeutic for Ciara. All the way down to the cousins, they embraced her and reassured her that no one blames her and that it was purely and simply an accident. Ciara, brave kid that she is, asked if she could speak at the funeral, the family said yes, and she did. She kept it simple, heartfelt, and did very well, only breaking down at the end. I was proud of her.

As to her Mother and I, we are well aware that now our families are tied together forever, and that our daughter now has to be shared. We are very grateful to the community we live in. This could be going much worse, it may yet. But we have a tremendous support group.

Mudcat, once again, has been a source of growth for me. Your outpouring of support, prayers, good thoughts, advice, PM's ..... most of you have no way of understanding how very important they are. Spaw gets it, so does Kendall. Those who have lost someone get it as well. Your love and concern, even from those I have not treated the best, have stunned me and raised the humility factor geometrically. I am reminded that behind the "handles" and online personnas, there is a caring community of real people that care about others enough to say so, and take what steps they can to share that. Events like this serve to remind us that we need to be more childlike in our caring for others. We need to drop these ridiculous barriers we construct to honest emotion, and genuine caring for others. We need to remember that someone's opinion in an online forum are not the stuff which feuds should be based on. What is important are the lives we touch, and the residue we leave in them. What you have left with me is honest caring, and a sense of a caring community.......


......and I am in your debt.

All the best,

Mick