Here, try this(with no disrespect for our flag or country)

Oh say can you see, To shut up, politely
How so loudly you squawk till the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad thighs and bad breath, thro' the perilous fight,
While hands o'er our hearts, while you were officiously screaming?
And cotton rockets' red glare, pms in the air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our nag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the meeps, and no home for the brave?