It was Friday morn when we set sail
And we were not far from the land
When our captain espied a mermaid so fair,
So the mate took the bottle from his hand,
And helped the poor old captain to his cabin and gave him some coffee and a couple of aspirin and suggested that he sleep it off and come back on deck when he'd sobered up because the ship was trying to navigate Prince William Sound and all Exxon needed was another tanker spill.