Let's not forget The Laughing Cow, aka La Vache Qui Rit, which, apart from a dribble of simmed milk in my morning coffee, is the only dairy produce I'm allowed these days, and even then in it's ultra light form, one paltry triangle a day. As a cheese fan however, I might indulge on a quarterly basis; something basic - a nice ripe Orkney cheddar grilled onto a slice of Burgen (or Vogel) bread, with Worcester Sauce.

I love Edam too; goes well with a decent shortbread. Of course this is a dietary no-no too, but the joy remains, likewise of crafting endless little red penguins from the wax.