Har! Har! Har! "tendentious persiflage" (Gawd...I'm falling out of my chair here and wiping the tears from my eyes...) I sure love the way you talk when you get going, Amos, but you're still wrong, dead wrong, and digging yourself in deeper all the time. I see that we are going to have to release some of the absolutely sordid revelations we have been keeping under wraps about your depraved sister, Sluttina. Yes, we will have to contact the tabloids. Well, you asked for it. The "Roundheel Diaries" will soon be common knowledge on the talk show circuit. Brittney Spears will be actually able to relax for awhile and take a break. A good thing, because she desperately needs one.

Chongo will marry his sister (either one of them...he has 2) when HELL freezes over, Amos. He has his standards and they are a long, long way above the very lax standards of the southern California pseudo-intellectual nouveau riche, I assure you. He is a gentleman from the old school.

Now, let's see. Jennifer Aniston? Is she hooked up with anyone at present? Is she still on the rebound from Brad? Does she go for political progressives with a fresh new approach and a really long reach? Gotta look into that.

I've told Chongo that Winona Ryder is OUT, though. She's mine.