May I humbly point out that Chongo HAS a wife and children?

Yes, he was drunk at the time, but the marriage and births are all registered in the Clerk's office in Chicago (Book 1543, page 174, line 6 for the marriage). A reporter recently spoke with Mrs. C, who told her that "that bastard goes around pretending to be a hot-shot private dick, ya know, but he hasn't kept his dick private any time. He's out there messing around with those blond bimbos and me and the kids are back here on East 59th, livin' in a sweatbox and eatin' Wheaties and hamburger. I only see him when he wants a little more of the old you-know-what or when he's too drunk to remember where he's currently living or who he's living with. Well, at least he usually remembers to send the child support, the bastard. Is that White House place air conditioned? Cuz our last fan broke when Junior shoved a railroad spike in the blades."