I learned this version as a child 50 years ago. I had no idea it was an established song. I thought someone in my family had just made the song up. My family was always getting together on Saturday nights in the summer and singing the evening through. Anyway, here is my version of "THE OLD MAID AND THE BURGLAR MAN".

I'll sing you a song of a burglar man, who started to rob a house.
He crept in at the window, as silently as a mouse.

While thinking of all the treasures he'd get, while under the bed he lay;
About nine o'clock he saw a sight that would make your hair turn grey.

About nine o'clock an old maid came in, "I am so tired she said".
Thinking everything was fine and all right, she forgot to look under the bed.

She took out her teeth, her old glass eye, and the hair from the top of her head;
The burglar man had forty-one fits when came from under the bed.

She stood there quiet, she stood there still, she stood there meek as a lamb.
"Dear Lord, my prayers have been answered at last, for at least I have found me a man!"