I was once in the Young Conservatives, about 25 years ago and I actually patted Thatcher on the back once; I was co-opted onto the committee (it was in a well-to-do commuter village) by the then Chairman, who is now a very respected political commentator and helped run the branch. In truth, although I thought I was a Tory at the time (my father is and was a true blue), it became obvious my heart wasn't in it, and here's why.

We had a succession of debates in between the drinking bouts, where we would invite people from opposing views to come and give their side of the story and engage in some robust discussion. I always really enjoyed these, and one day we had a chap come in from Shelter, an organisation that helps the homeless. He set his stall out early on, saying he was a Socialist and when we'd finished talking about housing (some of the member's parents had lots of money and very big houses - we all came from financially well-off backgrounds) he'd be happy to discuss anything with us. As the debate (which was heated but never nasty) wore on I realised this chap spoke my language - he was articulating what I thought in a way I never heard anyone before. That got me thinking.

Later in 1983, the year of the general election the last major political event before polling day was a big rally at Wembley Conference Centre. We were promised lots of celebs, rousing political speeches etc. On the coach on the way down to London we pulled over at Watford Gap services on the M1. That week, the people's march for jobs had made their way to parliament to protest the massive cuts Thatcher was inflicting on the various manufacturing industry in the North East. Several of the members from our bus went and plastered their coach with Young Conservative stickers and when the marchers came to protest they were treated to a tirade of abuse. I was sickened to the core - I almost got off the bus and went back North there and then. The disrespect shown to people trying to save their communities was nothing short of pathetic - I realised these privileged little oichs were utterly contemptuous of these people who were protesting peacefully, and I was ashamed to have been with them.

The rally went ahead, the usual sort of bollocks you get at any of these events regardless of political party and when Thatcher walked round I patted her on the back - I now wish I'd have twatted her round the head.

When I got back I was charged with liasing with the senior association's local branches, and part of that job was sitting on on committee meetings where strategy was formulated, campaigns planned and events organised. It became clear they were not interested in anything but their own little club. When a new member in his early 40's arrived from Chelmsford and suggested a disco they said there was no demand for "that sort of thing" and "people here prefer garden parties"; when I countered my mum and dad went to discos with their friends and they would be interested I was pretty much told to shut up.

I realised here were the people who ran the Tory party - the grass roots activists were generally sixty-something, well-off and suspicious of anything that would rock their little world. They were clueless and cared less about the plight of people who were struggling under the new economic realities of Thatcher's monetarist Britain. After several more events showing the workings of the party, resigned from the committee and left on political grounds (possibly a first for a Young Conservative).

This is why Cameron is popular in the short-term - an Eton toff will appeal to this demographic, but in the long run I think it spells trouble for him. There are plenty of old Thatcherites left in the party and these people are the ones running the party at grass routes level, and reform is not on their agenda. If the tories get back in, it'll be the early 1980's all over again and that is bad news.

I eventually found the political and philosophical creed which made the most sense to me: Marxism, and today I'm still finding my way through this most thoughtful and interesting of ideologies, which like socialism is a broad church with much to consider beyond the basic Tory desire to put the interests of oneself before all else in society.