I have a poem about my own UFO (Uncomfortable Freaking Orifice) experience. It must be good poetry because it is true.


Stay-at-Home and Nurse.
By Squirmy Redbottom

Its clear to see I am annoyed
by my throbbing hemmoroid

To slather it with fish oil cream
will bring relief is what I deem

Go slather it will oily goo
is really what I ought to do

To bathroom I now go to put
some ointment on my aching butt

The applicator's slick and black slide
it up into my aching back side.

Rub it on each bloody lobe
Like some crazy ail'yen probe