here are the words, and it is about my home town.

SALTCOATS AT THE FAIR
(Billy Connolly)

Did you see the boats gaun doon the wattair
Did ye see the baggy minnies scattair
Fine well they know what we are aftair
Wi wir nets and jeely jaurs in wir hauns

2.
AA the day we spent at Saltcoats
An the presents that we all got
Ah goat a stick of rock for ma Auntie Fannie
And a wee salt dish for my mammie

3.
Did you see them queuing for fish suppairs
Yer high fish tea wi yer bread and yir buttair
Aa the drunk men lying in the guttair
They were doon at Saltcoats for the fair

4.
Say he tae me whit time are ye leavin, son
Says ah tae him boot hauf eleeven, son
Cos ah'm for the next train up tae Stevenson
Cos ah don't like Saltcoats at the fair

5.
Well Saltcoats goodbye
I hate the smell of yur rotton seaweed
Never again will I see you,
Saltcoats goodbye