A village in Alabama is named "Slapout", for a grocery store there which was often slap out of whatever you wanted.
"As cold as a nun's nook in Nome."
After getting reamed out by your mother for some infraction, my uncle would say: "and besides that, your feet don't match". Or "Guess you heard that, didn't you?".
Going to beat 3: (going to get some bootleg whiskey.)
Uncle also said: "Your nose is a-running and your feets is a-smelling."
"A cup and saucer short of a full set."
He's so ugly he'd back a buzzard out of a meat wagon.
I don't know whether to wind my watch or go blind.