Hey, Bobert, but just think how much you would have to worry about if you DID have a dog. I have one here, a dachshund, and I worry constantly that something might suddenly terminate his fat, lazy little life. Something like...

A bear might come out of the forest and eat him! (he worries about that too)

I might back over him with the car, as he is too lazy to bother getting out of its way.

He might die from overeating! (this is exactly the way he hopes to go...)

He might expire due to terminal smelliness. He's working on that, always looking around for something organic and utterly vile to hasten the process.

He might yell his head off. He practices hard every day.

The Rottweiler across the way might finally get loose one day and kill him for parading disdainfully up and down on the safe side of the fence and peeing ostentatiously on the Rottweiler's fence posts just to be provocative. Dachshunds do that sort of insulting thing when they know that a large and vicious dog is unable to reach them.

That unidentified bird that's about 2/3 the size of a 747 might swoop down and carry him off.

I think there's little danger of that last thing, actually, cos that bird usually doesn't bother with anything smaller than a cow or a horse...

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Well, hey, be glad you ain't got a dog to worry about!

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You know, you might like the fruit flavored yogurt. Try getting some of the strawberry type, stir it up good...tastes great!