Two Against The One

By MAUREEN DOWD New York Times
Published: August 19, 2008

In the dead of night in a small hideaway office in the deserted Capitol, a clandestine meeting takes place between two senators with one goal.

They grin at each other as they lift their celebratory shots of brutally cold Stolichnaya.

‘Our toast to The One,’ they say in unison, ‘is that he’s toast.’

‘Obama should have picked you, Hillary,’ John McCain tells her. ‘It isn’t fair, my friend. But it just makes it easier for me to whup him.’

‘Don’t worry, John, I’ve put it behind me,’ Hillary replies. ‘I’m looking toward the future now, a future that looks very bright, once we send Twig Legs back to the back bench.’

They chortle with delight.

‘He’s a bright young man, but he got ahead of himself,’ McCain says. ‘He needs to be taught a lesson, and we’re the ones to do it. Have you seen the new Bloomberg poll? Obama’s dropped and we’re even again. The Bullet’s getting all the credit, but you and I know, Hillary, that it’s these top-secret counseling sessions we’re having. And thanks again for BlackBerrying me the Rick Warren questions while I was in the so-called cone of silence.’

‘Oh, John, you know I love you and I’m happy to help,’ Hillary says. ‘The themes you took from me are working great ‘ painting Obama as an elitist and out-of-touch celebrity, when we’re rich celebrities, too. Turning his big rallies and pretty words into character flaws, charging him with playing the race card ‘ that one always cracks me up. And accusing the media, especially NBC, of playing favorites. It’s easy to get the stupid press to navel-gaze; they’re so insecure.’........